Learning to love yourself in a world that makes you feel like you aren’t enough

Part of being human is that we are all unique in our own way. Unfortunately, we have a lot of pressure from modern society to be “perfect”, when the one thing I love about being human is that we’re not perfect. We all come from different environments, cultures, lifestyles, and past experiences, that shape the people we are today. It is our past that affects the lens in which we see the world and ourselves, but sometimes that lens gets clouded by the input from a world that is constantly trying to change us or “enhance” us.

So, how do we learn to love ourselves: truly, madly, deeply (thank you Savage Garden), LOVE ourselves down to our core to where no external push from society can affect us?

There is so much pressure by media sources, society, our family, friends, work environment, our cultural upbringing, and our innate personal beliefs to be better and improve upon ourselves which can take self-love out of that equation. It feels like people view the idea of loving yourself as a narcissistic view to some. While others, make it seem like the idea of self love means that you’re perfect and don’t need to change.

This is where I’ll disagree.

I have learned in retrospect that my experiences from my past (the good, the bad, and all the chaos in between them all) are helping me understand myself on a deeper level, and how I need to love myself harder.

To be honest, I feel completely flawed on a daily basis. In my own unique human experience, there isn’t a day that goes by where I wish I could improve upon myself.

I wish I had a better memory, I wish I could verbally communicate as well as I write, I wish I didn’t let anxiety get the best of me, I wish I could portray my helpfulness and warmth like extroverts do, I wish I had more motivation…

The list could go on and on about the things and qualities I wish I had or could improve upon. I used to feel that I had the qualities I admired in others, I would love myself more. But, aren’t these traits just part of being human?

Everyday I wake up feeling as human as everyone else, even though I wish I was Wonder Woman, but I learned that in being human, this is where it’s of the utmost importance to LOVE yourselves AS YOU ARE, in your current moment and in your current experiences.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to stay complacent, be vain or narcissistic, or that you think you’re perfect. To me, it means that you should not constantly beat yourself up about not being the ideal person you wish to be, because for every trait you hate about yourself, there are hundreds more that you can love about yourself.

I have anxiety, but my anxiety can make me empathetic and understand people on a deeper level.

My memory is impacted by my past trauma, but when I watch a movie I haven’t seen in years, it’s like watching a new movie for the first time.

Sometimes the words from my brain to my mouth come out jumbled, but when I get time to think before I speak, I can inspire others with my words.

As an introvert, HSP, and INFJ, I don’t get my energy from being around people, but one on one I can make a person feel loved and appreciated on such a deep level and I make an impact on the lives I touch.

I get exhausted from my day to day life where I don’t always have the motivation to do the things I want to do, but when I connect with someone I am passionate about, I get inspired to make a difference in the world.

Through self love, I am learning to focus on the positives in my life, instead of forcing myself to change daily. There will always be room for self improvement, but that does not mean I shouldn’t love myself for where I am and what I can bring to the world.

And this is what I hope I can inspire others to see: find the beauty in your flaws. Love yourself the way you are.

If you want to change or improve upon yourself — that’s your prerogative but the first step to change comes with loving your self where you are, so you can realize that no matter what: YOU ARE WORTH IT, no matter the flaws you come with.

Cecilia J. Enriquez, INFJ

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

If you have enjoyed my writing, feel free to leave a tip. Thank you for reading.