The bud of darkness in the spring of light
Sometimes in life, we get stuck in a dark hole.
We are led to believe there is a light waiting for us at the end of the tunnel so curiosity brings out our wonder to discover the truth. Is this real, or just a lie that we have been fed?
We reach towards the end of the tunnel and peak our heads out expecting to see this grandiose light, and but there is nothing but darkness.
How could they have lied to us! They said there was a light at the end of a tunnel! Why is it not there!?
We get angry, resentful, and left with disappointment in our optimistic hearts.
When we peak our heads out of our darkness into more darkness, we feel as if we’ve been fed a lie just to help us survive. Our expectations bring us down, as we crawl back into the hole because we didn’t see the light right away. Yet, what they never told us is that when we crawl out, the light isn’t going to be something we see right away.
You have to walk a bit in darkness until you reach a light.
It’s not instant gratification like we want it to be. As humans, we are hardwired to expect and desire the instant gratification…compared to suffering through something in order to reach the end goal or result.
Sometimes darkness is necessary for our survival and helps us grow as a person. It’s okay to get out of the dark hole and see darkness still…it’s okay to be angry about it, and it’s okay to feel depressed about not reaching the goal yet. Yet, it’s not okay to dig yourself deeper in darkness without even trying to attempt to crawl out of the original darkness in the first place.
How else do flowers grow without the dark cold bitter winter of despair?
At first, they are just buds. They don’t blossom right away. They aren’t scintillating in shining light for the world to see right away, they just remain a bud of hope. They are small signs of hope, waiting to be born….going through their own darkness to come out into the light. Yet, the bees don’t complain when they see the bud, they know in time, the bud will blossom into a beautiful flower, and everything falls into place at it’s own time.
The bud does not get mad at the first sign of spring and say “Why have I not blossomed yet! Spring is here, so I need to blossom right now!” The bud takes it time to open up, the way we as humans, open up to others. The same way we open ourselves up to different viewpoints and lifestyles is the way we learn to accept the life that is given, instead of a life of unrealistic expectations.
Through darkness, we get our ability to rise up even brighter than before, but we have to power through it, and walk through darkness for a while before we stand in our own light, and that’s okay. That’s life. Sometimes people can reach the end of their tunnel and see a light, but most of us have to struggle to reach the light. But the paradox of the struggle is, that once we reach that light, we hold onto it so much harder because we appreciate the struggle, despite how disappointing and upsetting it may have been.
We appreciate the flower, because as the bud is a sign of hope, so is the darkness.
Like the bud of a flower, we are closed before we bloom, and that’s the beauty of life. We are the bud of darkness waiting to reach the spring of light, and once we reach the light, we blossom for the world to see.
-Cecilia J. Enriquez
