Why I ran a 5K in the worst shape of my life
I wasn’t always out of shape. In fact, the last 5K I did, I was in the best shape of my life. Yet, through all the sizes and shapes I’ve been in, one fact has remained true: I am a runner.
My first race I ever did was the Mermaid 5K in Lincoln Park, Chicago. I had practiced months leading up to it — training and losing weight. This was in September 2016 after I had lost 140lbs in 3 years. I had my record time of completing in 46 minutes.
I was so proud and so happy to have accomplished this for myself just sitting at 240lbs in this photo below. While that number was still considered “obese” for my height, I was actually in the best health condition possible, and I considered myself fit because I was eating right and exercising everyday (but, I also hold my weight extremely well).
This time around, things were different. Fast forward exactly 105lbs later:
I signed up for the Wonder Woman 5K in January 2019 when I first heard about it. I loved Wonder Woman and knew this was something I had to do. It followed my passion for themed races (like the time I did the Viking 5K in 2017 running in the bitter cold). But, in the past few years, I’ve had unhealthy coping mechanisms that reverted me back to a heavier weight, in the photo shown above.
I started my health and fitness journey back in 2013 when I was inspired by Joe Cross’s documentary “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead”. I juice fasted like Joe Cross and then I continued a lifestyle of switching between plant based dieting and going into a paleo diet and lifestyle change while avoiding processed foods. This led me to 2016 where I had lost a total of 140lbs through eating the right foods and exercising and had the courage to become a runner.
I never thought I’d be the one doing 5Ks, but when I started the gym after losing my first 80lbs back in 2013, and I loved it. I always had that “runners high” that kept me going back to the treadmill for more. It was the best feeling in the world. I felt empowered, strong, and invigorated with life! Nothing could bother me when I was running.
Every morning I had to run at the gym before I started my work day. If I didn’t run, I felt incomplete. I always wanted to do 5Ks but never felt “fit” enough to do them. So, I signed up for the Mermaid 5K to challenge myself and reward myself after my successful weight loss.
That still doesn’t answer the question to why I would run a 5K in the worst shape of my life.
I gained those 140lbs back slowly in two years into 2018, and began my weight loss and fitness journey again in August 2018 continuing to lose weight with the help of weight loss counselors at a weight loss clinic.
I lost 40lbs from August to January with diet, exercise, and being on a weight loss drug: Phentermine.
I wasn’t planning on still being 100lbs heavier by the time the race day arrived. I had set a weight loss plan to lose at least 30lbs from January to June, but I wanted to get off the drug. I didn’t want to stay on Phentermine anymore since it already been almost 6 months of using it to drop weight quickly since I knew it’s effects in the body were similar to speed.
In February, when I tried to withdraw myself from Phentermine, I ended up hospitalized due to withdrawal symptoms that were giving me side effects of heart palpitations, high blood pressure, anxiety and dizziness.
With my doctor’s care, I spent 3 weeks working from home in attempt to get better and heal myself naturally by eating heart healthy foods and reducing my blood pressure that rose too high due to Phentermine withdrawals.
It took me until April to finally feel better. I had normal blood pressure again, and didn’t have to worry about my heart. I started to work out 4x a week and ate right until I didn’t eat right. Withdrawal was one of the worst things I had ever been through. I wasn’t mentally addicted to the drug, but my body was still twitching since it was used to having it in my blood stream for so long since the weight loss doctors told me to keep using it because it was working.
After those setbacks, I still made attempts to do my morning walks to Lake Michigan and back and run on the elliptical at the gym. Yet, I still had a lot of personal things in my life affecting me. It felt like whenever I went 3 steps forward, I then took 6 steps backwards. All I wanted to do was be a runner again without pain. I also had plantar fasciitis due to flat feet and my orthotics that were made for me weren’t going to be ready by the time I had my face, but I knew I was going to do the race no matter what — even if it meant it would be the most painful race of my life.
And it was.
I only lost a total of 10lbs since January, but I still did the Wonder Woman 5K.
I did the race in 1 hour and 17 minutes. I actually predicted by time to be 1 hour and 35 minutes because I was walking very slow when I was practicing on the treadmill — but once I was in a crowd of people, that runners high hit me again. I walked fast and I made it to the finish line.
I felt like I was in the worst shape of my life, and I probably was but I stood strong. I was Wonder Woman on that day. My feet were killing me, I felt dehydrated, and after I crossed the finish line I could barely stand straight. I wanted to pass out, but I was strong. I was my heaviest 5K weight, and I made it.
So — why did I go through all the trouble of doing this?
Because at the end of the day, no matter what setbacks or hardships I endured in my life, I realized that I’m a runner.
I always have been one, and my size will never define that.
